As my grades steadily improved, I began exploring nursing programs and found myself debating between the accelerated stream and the regular stream. I ended up applying to both streams at two different universities. It was a time of uncertainty, and I couldn’t shake the doubt that any school would accept me because of my failure during the first semester in my first year.
Applications…
Honestly, this part was a huge blur for me as well. I was trying to manage school work while trying to figure out the application process all over again as a transfer student. I needed to go back to my high school to get my transcript, write supplementaries and take the needed tests. Also with the financial struggle, I was only able to apply to two universities, which meant that my chances were extremely narrow.
After submitting my applications, it became routine for me to check the application portals every day. I was feeling a mix of hope, doubt, and uncertainty all at once. Then, on one cold January morning, the results came in. I had just woken up and checked my email as usual – and there it was, an email from one of the schools. I immediately logged into the admissions portal and was greeted with an acceptance letter. All my worries melted away in that moment, knowing that I had a new beginning ahead of me! I rushed to tell my family, who congratulated me for this new milestone.
Onto the new path!
As you can probably imagine, this opportunity felt almost like a second chance at life — a chance to redeem my past failures, and to prove to myself that I am capable of succeeding in school. At the same time, I remember feeling a mix of emotions. I felt caught between my desire to pursue medicine and the hope that I would grow to love nursing. While I knew I could see myself building a career in nursing, I wasn’t completely certain it was the right path for me. I decided to take a leap of faith, embracing the wide range of opportunities that a career in nursing could offer me.
The memories of the start of my nursing journey are faint, but I clearly recall feeling a bit overwhelmed during the orientation session. I was surrounded by people younger than me, being in a completely different school, and I didn’t know anyone else in the program. Another aspect of nursing that intimidated me was the heavy course load and the overall difficulty of the program. Although I felt more confident in my academic abilities, I still wasn’t sure if I would be able to adapt well to the demands of the program. If I failed again, I just didn’t know if I could allow myself to take on another challenge. Nearing the end of orientation day, I was fortunate to run into a friend I had known back in high school. Something as simple as seeing a familiar face helped ease some of my anxiety.
Another core memory that stands out vividly is the moment I got my first stethoscope and scrubs. Before starting the program, my only hospital experience had been through volunteering so all of this felt entirely new to me. I still remember the excitement of holding that stethoscope — engraved with my name — and trying on the school’s scrubs to make sure they fit just right. This was it. A new beginning that felt both scary and exciting.
A Journey through Nursing
Going into nursing, I had a narrow view of what kind of nursing I wanted to do — specifically, an emergency nursing. I was drawn to it because it seemed more ‘specialized’, with its fast-paced environment, the need for extensive knowledge, and the appeal of saving lives in critical moments. Throughout my nursing school, I would work towards that goal.
In my first year, we focused on the fundamentals of nursing, including nursing theories and essential clinical skills like measuring vital signs, documentation, and understanding anatomy and physiology. Everything was new to me, and I found it fascinating to finally learn skills that directly applied to caring for patients in a hospital setting. Near the end of the year, we had our very first exposure to real patients during a short placement in a long-term care unit. This is where I got my first real glimpse into the reality of healthcare. I was really excited going into my first-ever clinical placement as a nursing student. From a somewhat naive and immature perspective, I had this image of the geriatric population as being gentle, wise, and warm-hearted. What I saw in practice was quite different. Although there were certainly exceptions, many of the residents were unfortunately living with cognitive impairments and chronic illnesses that seemed to have consumed the people they once were. Aggression—both verbal and physical—was commonly witnessed, and it was heartbreaking to see just how profoundly illness can alter a person’s behaviour and sense of self. However, what made it all worthwhile was the ability to make a meaningful difference in patients’ lives. I saw nurses and patients singing together during care, older adults forming friendships despite their illnesses, and engaging in activities that brought them joy and connection. It made me realize that even amidst significant challenges, it’s still possible to create moments of dignity, warmth, and impact. I was truly grateful to be a part of such beautiful and special moment.
Unfortunately, COVID-19 hit at the end of my first year, and as a result, most of my second and third years were moved online with the exception of some clinical placements. Fast forward to my final year, I was fortunate enough to receive my dream placement in the emergency department, where I spent the entire fourth year. It was an incredible moment to realize how far I had come. I remembered volunteering in the emergency department during my first year and telling myself that I will be back but as a nursing student. Although it wasn’t the exact same emergency department, I was essentially standing in the place I had envisioned four years ago. Having achieved exactly that, I felt a deep sense of pride in how much I had grown and what I had accomplished.
Nearing the end…
Looking back on my journey through nursing, I am deeply honoured to have shared so many meaningful moments with patients, colleagues, and peers. Nursing has shaped me into the compassionate, motivated, and humble person I am today. I had the privilege of being part of the most vulnerable moments in my patients’ lives — moments that few are trusted enough to witness and something I would never have encountered had I not walked this path.
Although I learned and grew tremendously through nursing, I found myself continuously drawn to further education and the desire to deepen my knowledge — something that was difficult to fully pursue within the scope of nursing. Among other reasons, one experience really solidified my desire to go back and pursue medicine, which I will discuss in the next post!