Did I always know I wanted to be a doctor?
The short answer is, no.
As I prepare to begin medical school, I often reflect on what sparked this journey and realized just how naive I was back then. I’ve always been an ambitious child, with a deep desire to create a positive impact in society. I was always driven by the desire to do ‘something big’. Fun fact: I once dreamed of becoming a human rights attorney so I could become a diplomat, and ultimately the Secretary General of the United Nations – I know, a pretty ambitious plan! I actually didn’t realize I wanted to become a doctor until Grade 11, when we’re all suddenly expected to decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives.
As I mentioned, I was known by those around me as the ambitious, try-hard kid. In grade 9, I even submitted two essays on different topic for the same social studies assignment, just so my teacher could grade both and give me the higher mark. Call it crazy or intense, but I felt like I needed to excel in my academics to make my parents proud since they sacrificed everything to move to Canada for me and my little brother. I carried the pressure of needing to set an exemplary path for my brother to follow.
But at this point, you’re probably just wondering what sparked it all — so let me tell you.
So, what actually started everything?
To be honest, I don’t have any grand reason for wanting to become a doctor. My mom was a nurse, but I didn’t have any doctors in my family, nor did I experience a life-changing event involving illness or medical care that inspired me. My interest towards medicine actually started in my grade 11 biology class, where I took a significant interest towards the field of biology among all sciences. Combined with my ambition and desire to help others, this new passion towards biology opened my interest in pursuing medicine as an option. You might be disappointed – I know it’s a typical reason why many people choose to become doctors, but this is actually what sparked the beginning of my journey.
Fuelling my budding interest, I attended a career mentorship camp hosted by a local community organization. My mom, hoping to help me discover my true aspiration, signed me up and it ended up being incredibly helpful. The lead organizer of the event was a resident doctor who gave an inspiring talk about his journey into medicine and the goals he hoped to achieve in his career. Although the details of his speech have faded away from my memory with time, I still remember how inspired and motivated I felt by his passion, ambition, and charisma – and I wanted to be like him.
How my parents reacted …
Sometimes you hear stories about parents who are determined to see their child become a doctor, no matter what. Fortunately, my parents were never the type to pressure me into becoming a doctor – or into pursuing any specific path, for that matter.
But when I shyly told my parents that I wanted to become a doctor, they were actually quite doubtful and worried. My mom, who had worked as a nurse back home, was concerned about how difficult the path to becoming a doctor would be and also about the demanding life that comes after. They carefully suggested an alternative career in nursing, which offers a wide range of opportunities, flexibility, and a better work-life balance. At the time, I felt like my parents were simply doubting my ability – but thinking back, I can understand where their concerns came from.
Another factor was that both of my parents questioned whether I truly had what it takes to become a ‘doctor’. While they knew I worked hard in school, I wasn’t the academically perfect child. What I mean is, I didn’t have 99s in high school, and I definitely wasn’t in the top 1% of my classes. My parents had always believed that only the absolute top students could become doctors. In many ways, I questioned it myself – I really thought that people who became doctors were born with certain traits, which I didn’t think I had. To name a few, I thought I needed to be a leader, a valedictorian, top of the class, a star athlete – and so much more.
Did I already have what it took to become a doctor?
Honestly, I don’t think so. Other than trying my best in the circumstances I was in, I didn’t have anything particularly remarkable going for me. I was part of a few clubs here and there, but nothing extraordinary. I wasn’t a club leader, didn’t start any initiatives, and wasn’t involved in student government. I also didn’t play any sports or rack up thousands of volunteer hours in high school. Yes, I’ve seen those people exist – but that didn’t mean someone like me couldn’t become a doctor. For all the high-achieving, overly anxious high schoolers (or anyone starting this journey) who worry they’re not enough to become a doctor – It’s okay. You can relax. You don’t need to have it all figured out right now.
What was important for me was not letting those doubts hold me back. Perhaps thanks to the bold mindset of my teenage years, I was determined to prove others and myself wrong – and that’s where my journey really began.